Heaven Cries

i put my hands in the dirt
and felt the earth cry
Mother Nature whispered a prayer
on the breeze floating by
birds stopped chirping
and bowed their little heads
as they reverently listened
to every word that I said

i was conversing with her spirit
under the strength of tall trees
the comforting sunshine
was evidence of her glory
...she heard
she heard every word that I said
her body may have been buried
but her spirit wasn't dead

i knelt down to get closer
to the foot of her grave
and was surprised
that the emptiness didn't go away
i was just as lonely as she was
with no tombstone for a friend
with no artificial flowers
swaying in the wind

i offered my apologies
for not visiting often
its not that i didn't want to see her
i just didn't want to
remember that coffin

I hated using flowers
as a token of love
because
they don't say how bad
i wanted to feel my mama's hug

all i really wanted
was a chance to be held
i didn't want her up there in heaven
while i was here in hell

i wanted her to baby sit
as I watched in the distance
observing love transcend generations
as my daughter played and listened

i wanted to remember her face
without the need for photographs
i wanted her in my present
not just part of my past

lord
please spare my soul
and help me earn my crown
to tell my mama
to look down
from heaven
and smile...for me

mama
I hope you're proud
of me

smile
for me

mama
i just want
you to be proud
of me

resting in peace
no longer caught in the storm
my mama is up in heaven
safe from all harm

down here on this earth
i try my best to stand strong
heaven cries sometimes
but the storms don't last long